▲Interview with Sharmi: She prepared a delicious strawbery cake in a neat room of a 2-story white house.
▲ A Second Divorce Helped Her to Find Real Happiness ⓒ 오연호
How can a happy life and a happy society be possible? There is a woman who is trying to find the answer by waling a miles in the shoes of the Danish. American Sharmi Albrechtsen, in her late 30s, lives in Copenhagen with her Danish husband studying why Denmark is one of the happiest countries in the world.
I visited a wealthy village outside of Copenhagen to interview her. She is hosting me with a delicious strawbery cake in the living room of a 2-story white mansion house. She has been living in Denmark for 12 years, and writing essays on her blog for 3 years about the secret of happy Danes. She wants to publish a book about it in the near future. Why is she so dedicated to the question? She said ,"Because I was so unhappy."
"Around 2009, there were some reports that Denmark was the happiest country in the world. The funny thing is, at that time I was getting divorced from my Danish husband. I was very unhappy, so I wanted to know much more about why they are happy. But no one has explained this. So I started my blog to find the answer."
Big differences, Denmark vs. America
Sharmi said, "I don't belong to one country. I'm a global citizen."
"My parents are from India originally but I was born in Canada, grew up in the U.S. from 1 to 25 years of age. I married an American man but divorced. And secondly married a Danish man, with him I ended up in Denmark. But divorced again. Now I am living with my third husband, who is also Danish. So I'm a kind of mixed person."
She said, "Part of the reason that we had a divorce with my second husband was because I didn't really accept the Danish culture."
"I was a foreigner in a foreign country. And I didn't understand what makes Danish people happy. I was trying to be an American in Denmark. And it doesn't work. So I made myself very unhappy."
Why does American style not work in Denmark?
"Because most Americans are very materialistic, they believe that success is your money, that happiness can be bought, that if you are a successful person then you have a nice car, a big house, etc. Danes don't feel like that. They're actually against materialism. I had so many Louis Vuitton bags and no Danes said 'nice bag' to me because that's not what they value. That's where I went wrong, really. During my marriage, I spent a lot of time spending money. I spent and I bought and I bought… trying to make myself happy. And it didn't happen. And then I ended up divorced."
She said there are big differences in terms of values between Denmark and America.
"In the U.S. it's always like 'want more, want more, achieve more, ambition, ambition, ambition.' Here it's like 'relax, enjoy, have fun with your family, enjoy bicycle ride, enjoy the sunshine. Danes do not struggle every day to be the best."
The combination of system and attitude